Today I carefully stepped out of bed but stood on a spider and thats were it went bad. I got dressed, cleaned my teeth and steeped out side but the sky was covered in white clouds. And then I saw a gang of fifty people coming to me, so I ran and ran and ran and I never stopped. I ran all the way around the world and I stopped at the isle of white. But I has to stop and thats when they pushed me of a clif into the sea, it was weird it did not hurt at all not at all.
By Sam B - Ash Class.
Hello Sam, thanks for taking part in the 100WC.
ReplyDeleteI like to visit some from Ash class as I also teach an Ash class :D
Oh dear, fancy stepping on a spider. That would be an unpleasant start to the day. It was pretty amazing that you ran all the way around the world- I wondered if you had some sort of super powers to be able to do that.
Well done for including all the words (unfortunately, the Isle of Wight is spelt like this!) to make an imaginative and fast paced story.
To further improve your writing, try not to repeat words (you used 4 rans!) and add in some description of how the character was feeling.
Keep on blogging :D
Hi Sam - I agree with Mrs Halford - this is a really good 100wc. You've packed lots into your 100 words, creating a really interesting story. You must be a good runner!
ReplyDeleteBe careful with words like of and off - they mean different things: eg, 'bag of sweets' and 'get off the floor!'
Well done, Sam!
Mr K :-)
I really like the story you wrote because it is intresting and you used the prompt words well.
ReplyDeletewell done Sam. This is a great 100 word challenge.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you put WHITE as the isle of white,that was a great idea. Have you read mine yet?
I ment white clouds.
Deleteoh yes,
DeleteThat was a great ide aswell.
Do you enjoy writing 100 word chllenges?
I do!