Oh no, I thought, it’s the 29th of February, and the weather’s changed for the worst! Leaping to my bed, quivering madly, I could hear the tornado buzzing around unstoppably. Then the crackling laugh came from the bright green bush… But then, Lady DeVille jumped out the bush with blood-thirsty teeth hanging out her ghostly white face. Smashing the glass in my window, DeVille launched herself onto my tiny bed. Bruised and battered, I climbed out the now red with blood duvet. It was a bloody battle, with me finally kicking DeVille out the smashed window. Will she ever return…
By Isaac - Ash Class.
I like how you have begun your sentences in different ways Isaac such as using an 'ing' word (leaping) and an adjective (bruised). Great use of description too such as 'launched'. Well done!
ReplyDeleteMrs Prior
This is a great piece of writing, I like the way you have used excellent describing words such as ‘Leaping to my bed, quivering madly’. You have captured the reader’s interest and you have left me wanting to read more. Well done it is very good work, keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHello Isaac, thanks for taking part in the 100WC. I noticed yours because my class is also called Ash class ;)
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you linked this to the 29th February.
This was an action packed piece of writing- I'm not sure who DeVille is but she sounds pretty angry.Did she come from the tornado? Keep on writing.
No, but now I've heard of that it does sound quite brilliant, so yes!
DeleteThanks for my comments guys, keep 'em coming!
ReplyDeleteYour story was a little scary. Now I am going to have nightmares. But it was also very creative.
ReplyDeleteVery weird and awesome. I liked it a lot.
ReplyDelete(Mac) Saint John Vianney School