The police asked, “How can I help you?”
“He took my keys, and he robbed my house and car!” I explained to the officer. But all I could hear was the ear-piercing sound of my phone alarm that woke me up. “Phew it was only a dream!” I thought to my self. But then I actually awoke and found my self in prison. “Why me? I didn’t rob anything or anyone, I didn’t do it!” I cried.
I had no hope at all, I knew it.
“You're out.” The officer told me, I ran out with hope and joy. This was my life.
By Charlotte - Ash Class.
love it bff :-]
ReplyDeleteHello Charlotte,
ReplyDeleteYou have made excellent use of this week's prompt. You certainly had a frightening experience but at least you were freed in the end.
I like your use of speech in your story. It's a way of sharing what a character is thinking.
I hope you keep entering the 100WC.
@RossMannell
Teacher, NSW, Australia
Thank you. I did find it hard to use many other words. I hope to put on more soon.
ReplyDeleteCharlotte
Hello Charlotte,
ReplyDeleteThis is a super storyline with a couple of very anxious moments. I really liked the twist created by the dream; I wasn't expecting that. I love the highs and lows you created with your choice of words and punctuation, helping you emphasise emotion.
A truly enjoyable 100wc. I look forward to reading some more of your work.
Mrs Shaw (Team100WC)
Wow Charlotte, that was very intresting! Some great alternatives to 'said' (e.g explained, asked, cried) well done!
ReplyDeleteI would try to make the story line a bit less confusing though, if you know what I mean!
Well done Charlotte!
AMAZING Charlote! I love the alternatives for 'said' you put in, but you could record your writing to make your work the best in the schooll. Hope this is great advice to you and keep on writing. From Oscar.
ReplyDeleteWow! That story was a pretty good story. I loved the part when you got out of prison. Why did you pick this topic for your 100 word challenge? -Jessica
ReplyDelete