I was trekking up the tallest mountain in the world, K2. My mum and dad were exhausted but I was determined to reach the peak. I pushed and pushed myself, leaving my parents behind. I was almost there, when suddenly I noticed something tumbling down the mountain, coming down at me. I quickly leaped behind a sturdy rock. It crashed down beside me. I slowey stood up and saw that the boney boulder was mysteriously glowing. I inched away from the boulder, very quickly. As I stepped away, it seemed to be rolling towards me. It started to glow brightly...
By Molly - Ash Class.
Thanks for putting it on the blog Mr K- but whay is the writing black not green?
ReplyDeleteHmmm - I don't know! I shall try to fix!
DeleteMr k can you tell me how to get rid of the top bit.
ReplyDeleteHi Sam - I'll show you tomorrow lunchtime if you like!
DeleteOk I will fide you once I have had my lunch.
Delete*_* wow molly!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mya!
DeleteHello Molly - I sometimes comment for Team 100wc, so I thought I'd do it here! This is a really good piece of writing - I particularly like your use of adverbs, like suddenly, slowly and mysteriously.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I love mountains, so I really enjoyed reading this!
Mr K :-)
So your in the 100wc team then? Oh and thanks Mr K, I hoped you liked it!
DeleteThanks for all the comments guys,Here is a new smily face that I found out how to do! :¬)
DeleteA great story, Molly!
DeleteIt is clear to me that you were fascinated at maybe a little anxious when the rock started glowing. Nature is misterious!
There is one typo in your text. Can you find it?
I would love to read more stories like this, Molly. Keep up the great work ;)
Kind regards,
Diethild
Thanks, oh and whats a typo?
DeleteHi Molly
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your writing - I'm dying to know what happens next! It sounds like you are full of determination, which is a great character trait. I hope you keep entering the 100 WC!
Thanks Caroline! I glad you liked it! Have you seen my 100wc week 23?
DeleteI hadn't seen it, so have just been for a look.....another great piece! You have a terrifc knack for describing things - I particularly liked "our toes burning on the baking sand" which made me feel nice and warm on quite a gloomy day!
DeleteHi Molly
ReplyDeleteJust read your blog about no one commenting and thought because you obviously value the feedback then you deserved some from me. Well, what can I say apart from what a great 100WC. We are studying mountains in our school so I know a little bit about K2 and it is a very difficult mountain to climb and I liked the way you described your determination to reach the summit. As for the brightly glowing ball at the end - well I guess we will just have to wait for your next installment. Keep up with your writing and keep nagging Team 100WC!
Thanks,and I made up the mountain K2! I can't belive its a real mountain! And I will keep nagging the 100wc team if they don't comment!
DeleteGosh, Molly - you took the initiative here! Great comments! :-)
ReplyDeleteMr K.
I know, I went onto the 100wc blog and contacted them! I never relised that I would have this many comments back!!!!! Ahhhh!
DeleteHello Molly,
ReplyDeleteI am certain it was an error your entry wasn't visited. Members of Team 100WC visit many entries and sometimes we can make mistakes. I think you'll find the team will be trying to make it up to you by having more than one person visit your story.
You certainly know your mountains by mentioning K2, second in height in the Himalayas. To be climbing on "the roof of the world" would be an experience in itself but to be confronted by the boney enigma.
This is a well written entry. You were very correct in pointing out you had been missed by Team 100WC. The Team was set up to make sure every entry has a visit.
Keep entering the 100WC. :)
@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher, NSW, Australia
Hi Ross,
DeleteI never knew that there was a real life mountain K2, I made it up! I'm glad you like it! I know that the 100wc team sometimes can make some mistakes!
Thanks for commenting!
Hi Molly,
ReplyDeleteI am a Team 100WC member, and I saw that you were disappointed that no one commented on your piece. I'd like to take the opportunity to first apologize for the oversight! Second, I'd like to say what a great job you have done here!
I love the action verbs that you have used to describe what is happening. You leave us wondering what is going to happen next! I am surprised the speaker is not too scared. I know I would be if that happened to me! :)
Nice job.
4amWriter/Team100WC
Thanks,
DeleteI'm glad you really like it! And theres no need to apologize, its not your falut!
I really don't know what is going to happen next, I never planned the ending!
Thanks for getting back!
Hey Molly! Good effort for your story!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of climbing K2 but I don't think I'm healthy enough! I also love the cliff hanger. Is the glowing rock good or bad? Maybe it would give you super powers? Who knows!!
One thing is to be careful with your spelling (it should be slowly instead of slowey) but you use amazing describing words like "sturdy" to describe the rock and how you "inched" away!
Keep writing!
I'm Hannah from Team 100WC :)
Hi Hannnah,
DeleteI'm really glad you like my 100wc! Ok and i'll try to use slowly instead of slowley! *Gasp!* My teacher never pointed that out!
And i'm glad you like all the desribing words!
I can't wait for you to comment back!
P.s. I'm sorry that you hadn't had comments from Team 100WC and I hope we've made up for it :)
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend Molly!
Its fine!
DeleteMolly,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, so sorry that you've experienced disappointment when you didn't receive any comments on this great piece for the 100WC. It's full of great adverbs and wonderful vocabulary. Keep up the great work. Mrs. Doebley Team 100WC
Hi Terry,
DeleteTheres no need to say sorry,
I'm glad you like it!
Molly,
ReplyDeleteYou're piece is loaded with great adverbs and good vocabulary. Great writing on this 100WC! Mrs. Doebley 100WC, Ocean City, NJ, USA
Thanks Mrs Doebley,
DeleteI'm glad you enjoyed reading it!
Hi Molly, sorry that you were disappointed not to have had comments from any of the team. I hope you are pleased with all the comments you've had now! I liked how you included the name of the mountain. Your ending was fabulous and i would love to know what happened next. Keep on blogging. (My class are called Ash too!) There is something called blogadopt that you can talk to your teacher about..its another way for class blogs to get comments. Mrs Halford Team100WC
ReplyDeleteHi Mrs Halford,
DeleteI'm glad you really like my 100wc! Yes, i'm extremally pleased with all the comments I've got! Did you really like the end? I didn't really like it!
I never ever knew that your class was called Ash too!
Thanks for the comment! :¬)
Thanks for all the comments from 100wc team!!
ReplyDeleteHi Molly, I always enjoy reading your entries. You kept improving your writing skill in each entry into 100wc. You expressed this boldness in this story where you dared to take an adventure on a mountain!
ReplyDeleteThe suspense created at the end is winsome. Well done!
So sorry that you did not get comments earlier. It was not intentional, I believe.
I guess you're getting so many as compensation now.
Hi Olusola!
DeleteThanks for commenting! I'm glad you keep on commenting how much my writing skill are improving every time that you check my work! Yes, I've got loads of comments now!!
Wow Molly that was really cool. Your 100 wc made me want to reed more. It's really exiting.
ReplyDelete(home work)
By Samantha.
wow molly that was AMAZING how do you write like that it is amazing comment on are blog at: blog.st-barts.bolton.sch.uk/year6 well done :)
ReplyDelete