Friday 4 May 2012

Molly's 100wc - week 29:

It was just an ordinary day on Shuttlecock Island, or so I thought...

I was flying around the marvellous coast of Shuttlecock Island on my pink Koalacorn, when I saw a purple, glowing castle in the distance.

Swiftly and silently, my Koalacorn flew down to the mysterious castle to take a closer look. In front of the castle, lay a creaking draw-bridge, with turrets like sky-scrapers reaching for the clouds. The draw-bridge slammed down, like we were expected. Worried, I quietly strode into the enchanted castle, leaving my Koalacorn behind. Inside, a jester was noisily juggling foam balls, he was heading for me...

8 comments:

  1. Thanks for putting my 100WC on the blog
    Mr K! And for putting the words in PINK!:-)

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  2. Isaac (Homework)5 May 2012 at 11:34

    Well done Molly! I really like the way you're thinking about I SPACE and A CARP PIE! Also, I like the sentences you used, they really flow!

    A sentence that I think doesn't make sense:
    'The drawbridge slammed down, like we were expected' I think the word should be 'expecting'

    Lovely work Molly!

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    Replies
    1. Great comment Isaac, but I'm going to disagree on the sentence you spoke about - I think Molly was creating some mystery and tension - the drawbridge slammed down because who/whatever was in the castle knew they were there - they were expecting them!
      Mr K :-)

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    2. Now I've read it it makes more sense!
      Sorry Molly!

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  3. Hello Molly,

    This is a wonderfully descriptive piece of writing. You clearly painted a picture of the scene in my mind as I read your story.

    Well done!

    @RossMannell
    Teacher, NSW, Australia

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    Replies
    1. Molly - I agree with Mr Mannell - you've crafted such a lovely, descriptive piece of writing here. Your writing just gets better and better and better!
      Happy teacher :-)
      Mr K.

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    2. Thankyou Mr Mannell, I'm glad that you enjoyed reading my 100WC this week!

      I'm very happy that you liked the way I described the setting that I was in, and that you could picture it in your head! :)

      Delete
  4. Thanks for all the comments guys!!! :-)

    ReplyDelete

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