It was just an ordinary day on Shuttlecock Island, or so I thought...
I was flying around the marvellous coast of Shuttlecock Island on my pink Koalacorn, when I saw a purple, glowing castle in the distance.
Swiftly and silently, my Koalacorn flew down to the mysterious castle to take a closer look. In front of the castle, lay a creaking draw-bridge, with turrets like sky-scrapers reaching for the clouds. The draw-bridge slammed down, like we were expected. Worried, I quietly strode into the enchanted castle, leaving my Koalacorn behind. Inside, a jester was noisily juggling foam balls, he was heading for me...
Thanks for putting my 100WC on the blog
ReplyDeleteMr K! And for putting the words in PINK!:-)
Well done Molly! I really like the way you're thinking about I SPACE and A CARP PIE! Also, I like the sentences you used, they really flow!
ReplyDeleteA sentence that I think doesn't make sense:
'The drawbridge slammed down, like we were expected' I think the word should be 'expecting'
Lovely work Molly!
Great comment Isaac, but I'm going to disagree on the sentence you spoke about - I think Molly was creating some mystery and tension - the drawbridge slammed down because who/whatever was in the castle knew they were there - they were expecting them!
DeleteMr K :-)
Now I've read it it makes more sense!
DeleteSorry Molly!
Hello Molly,
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderfully descriptive piece of writing. You clearly painted a picture of the scene in my mind as I read your story.
Well done!
@RossMannell
Teacher, NSW, Australia
Molly - I agree with Mr Mannell - you've crafted such a lovely, descriptive piece of writing here. Your writing just gets better and better and better!
DeleteHappy teacher :-)
Mr K.
Thankyou Mr Mannell, I'm glad that you enjoyed reading my 100WC this week!
DeleteI'm very happy that you liked the way I described the setting that I was in, and that you could picture it in your head! :)
Thanks for all the comments guys!!! :-)
ReplyDelete