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Hello Becky,This is a great 100 Word Challenge.You used amazing adjectives such as deep, huge, dark and starving.You also used a wonderful simile which was my knife was as sharp as a dragon's tooth.Could you add some adverbs?But other than that you have done a marvellous job.Iqra :o)
Becky, thank-you for entering the 100 Word Challenge. Your clear descriptions have made it easy for me to imagine the setting and character, Dave, clearly in my head. You have also included a "which" clause to add more detail and a super simile, well done!Keep up the great work.Mrs Stones (Team 100WC)
Wow Becky you have done great you should put some more adjectives in and some speech marks. And next time if you are going to put things on the blog try writing bigger I can't read it properly.
I love what you wrote
Wow Becky, a cool 100wc! I like the simile: 'Sharp as dragons teeth.' It's very clever!Try not to go from 3rd person to 1st person, like you did when you were telling the reader what he thought!A very good story! :)
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