Oscar joined his first Live Writing session and wrote this:
Dear Diary, today I wanted fried eggs but I got it in my face insted of my mouth. Not a good way to start the day!
A great start, Oscar! I wonder if you could carry it on?
Isaac created a marvellous diary entry:
Dear Diary. Smugly, I woke up knowing that no-one in the world has thought of this. It was the brilliant 'breakfast machine.' I climbed out of bed and made my way to the to the stairs, then I saw Gromit wandering out of his room. He was half asleep. "Come on Gromit" I heard myself call. "we HAVE to try out our new machine" Unfortunatly, Gromit wasn't as intrested as I was. I was surprised how quickly I could get down the stairs, and surprised how slow Gromit was! "Oh do hurry up Gromit!" Getting quite annoyed how unintrested he was. Quickly, I sprinted to the kitchen and pulled out the sparkling romote for this spectacular machine. I walked into the dining room, Gromit had finally arrived. The reason Gromit was feeling miserable was that every time I've made an amazing invention is that they havn't really gone to plan! Anyway, I don't want to talk about that now! We sat down at the varnished table and started fiddling with the controls. I then heard a strange noise coming from the kitchen. "At your service!" I heard it call... "Ha Ha!" I exclaimed "It worked!" Gromit, was looking glum. Then Suddenly, I saw why! The machine was spinning aroung at 100 miles an hour. It opened the lid, and sprayed out a mashy egg mush all over Gromits face! OH NO! Then it whizzed out a boiled egg in my plump face! Finally, disaster! It exploded! Not a great morning...
Fantastic, Isaac! I can really tell that you've been thinking about our I SPACE work!
Hopefully there'll be some more of you there next time! Mr K :-)
(c) Aardman Animations.
Live writing was absoloutely fantastic! So many creative writers and teachers that gave us useful feedback were watching and commenting. Isaac, your writing is definitely something to be proud of- you have made a small video into an imaginative, humourous diary entry. I hope you do more live-writing and more stories/diary entries. :)
ReplyDeleteHi! Is that Greg?
DeleteI love the promt I couldn`t stop laughing at the robot :0
ReplyDeleteMy too!
DeleteHi Issac
ReplyDeleteI like how you use the punctuation, lots of commas and speechmarks. I thought there were lots of interesting words like 'spectacular' a good word for 'great'. I thought the story was fantastic. From Kirsty
Thankyou Kirsty!
DeleteVery funny.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed that I've made a few mistakes in my 'live writing'. Well done Oscar! I know its very hard to keep up!
ReplyDeleteThis is very cool Isaac.I like how you have discribed things like the vanished table and the sparkling remote-very good Isaac.
ReplyDeleteThank you Miss Mya!
Deleteit is very funny
ReplyDeletewell done isaac! You used that I SPACE technuice Mr K tought us! and, because it,s May 4th, I have to say:
ReplyDelete" A tallented writer, you are!"
:)
from Ethan W
Vey funny Ethan! Thank you for commenting on my work!
DeleteHi Oscar, I love your story, I could picture me as wallace, and your adverbs and adjectives. You also said what actuly happend in the video, I also liked your starting, smugly, it is a very good adjective.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could use some more of our carp pie, but it is still amazing. I do hope to hear more of your pieces of writeing.
Charlotte:)
Well done Oscar!
DeleteHi Oscar I love how you have included humour. I don't know if you were supposed write it as a diary entry but it is good as a diary entry.
ReplyDeleteIt is realy good oscars was good and funny the promt was realy funny we didt get chance to read the other one. but it is probly rearly good
ReplyDeleteHi Isaac! Your story made me laugh! Well done!
ReplyDeleteWell done! You are writing so creatively! what a great blog too, keep on going Ash Class, this is really good stuff! Hope you are having loads of FUN!
ReplyDeleteI love mini movie!
ReplyDelete