The road was very long, but very busy Half of the people had hot chocolate, and the others were watching the animals: pandas, sea lions and rhinoceros. I was looking at the baby penguin’s silky beak around the chain metal fence. All of a sudden, a massive crowd of people rushed over to the gate that was open. All the penguins started to escape. The crowd rushed to make a human fence so the penguins couldn’t get out. However the zoo keeper rushed over to me and said, "it wasn’t my fault," because…
By Lauren - Ash Class.
It's really good! I'm guessing it's set in a zoo!
ReplyDeleteYes it is thankyou for saying it is good
ReplyDeleteLauren,
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting and exciting beginning to a story. I was a little confused about the setting at first. I mean, I know it is a zoo, but why are some people drinking hot chocolate? Be careful with punctuation.