"It wasn't my fault!" shouts Jake to his parents, who are storming up to his messy room. "I didn't kick Billy!"exclaimes Jake. His parents are right outside his door now. Their scaly hands wrap around the door handle. Jake quickly picks up one of Billy's arms from the floor and attempts to stick it back on.
The door is locked and his angry parents show their frustration by blinking their 8 eyes rapidly, grinding their toothless gums and their snake like hair turning red as fire. Billy's engine roars! Is this a ordinary family? What is Billy? Who knows...
By Callum - Ash Class.
cool story cai keep blogging
ReplyDeleteHello Callum, what a great 100WC piece this is. You have been very imaginative and your descriptions help the reader have an excellent idea of what they look like.I enjoyed this a lot and will be showing my class after the half term (another Ash class!)
ReplyDeleteHi Mrs Halford - thanks for commenting on Callum's piece of work - I was really impressed too!
DeleteI'll put a link to your blog on our page, so we can see what your Ash class have been upto. Also I'm VERY jealous of how many international visits your blog has had - how do you do it?!? :-)
Mr K
I agree Callum - this is really, really good!!!
ReplyDeletethanks again :):):)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteWow Callum, this is really good... Have you read about my story contest yet? xx
ReplyDeleteCallum, this is so mysterious.. It makes you want to read on so much..... GOOD WORK! :)
DeleteGreat 100 word Callum.
ReplyDeleteHi Callum. I thought this was a terrific piece of writing for the 100WC.
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you built up the description of Jake's parents slowly, so that first we only know that they have scaly hands and we have to wait to find out about the 8 eyes etc.
I also liked the image of Jake trying to stick Billy's arm back on.
You really roused my curiosity with this piece, and I would love to read more to find out what happened before this and what will happen next.
hi callum
ReplyDeletewe like your 100wc and wanted to read on. Who is Billy we want to know!
We like your mystery
from Emelia and Chloe
Yeah, who just is this billy?
DeleteWhat an imagination Callum. At first I thought I had mis-read your writing or you had made a spelling mistake about the scaly hands! It is truly a great sci-fi piece!
ReplyDeleteso the parents are aliens - COOL!
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS A BRILL STORY CALLUM, AND THIS IS NO ORDINARY FAMILY
ReplyDeleteThis has been chosen for the 100wc showcase this week! :-)
ReplyDeletehttp://100wc.net/?p=400
Have a look!
Wow Callum! Your 100 word challenge is brilliant! Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteWell done Callum your story is very imaginative.Any way are Jakes parents aliens.Keep up the good work
ReplyDeleteTell me more. I am so glad Ur in the show case.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story Callum, you have used lots of interesting words.
ReplyDeleteIt leaves you wanting to read more!.
homework.
Thank you for the comment
ReplyDelete