As I walked slowly towards my house, I realised the ground was beginning to wobble. At first I thought I was imagining it, so I carried on walking. Arriving home, I went in and saw that the floor of my house was cracked and most fo my things had fallen through the hole. I ran as fast as I've ever ran in my life the find my parents, but it seemed they had gone too.
That's when it came to me: this wasn't just a nightmare. The ground slowly parted...
By Chloe.
Ash Class, Year Five - Greenfields Primary School.
Hi Chloe, I hope you were able to locate your parents.
ReplyDeleteYou used your imagination so well and gave a good description of what was taking place. I wish to know what happened next. I guess you wanted to type 'of' instead of 'fo' and 'to find my parents instead of 'the find...In any case, you did well. Keep entering for 100wc.
Thank you for commenting my 100 word challenge. I hope I will be able to do more of them.
DeleteThanks Olusola! I'm afraid Chloe's typos were my fault (Mr Kenyon, her teacher!) - I shouldn't try to speed type!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Chloe. I enjoyed reading your 100WC. You have used some great openers and some interesting punctuation. To make it even better, maybe next time you could add some emotions - how did you feel when you realised your parents had gone?
ReplyDeleteHello Chloe (snap! Your class name matches mine!) You built up some effective suspense. The description of the ground wobbling was great. I think you have excellent imagination. Keep on writing. Next time try some more description of feelings, sights and sounds.
ReplyDeleteHello Chloe!
ReplyDeleteI really like this story especially as you left putting the prompt in until the very end! It is super to see you on the 100WC!
Hello chloe!
ReplyDeleteGreat 100 word challenge
I really enjoyed reading it
Well done
Sasha
cool story
ReplyDeleteagree!
DeleteIts kinda scary! :-0
ReplyDeletelove the fact you made me want to read on!
glad you enjoyed the story
ReplyDeletethanks for commenting
hi mr k
ReplyDeletei am in blackpool and have been looking at the blog
love chloe
ps: great result for Man City, two points clear at top of the league now!
Hi Chloe - excellent, hopefully there'll be a dot on Blackpool on our globe!
DeleteMr K
ps - boo, hiss at Man City!