Thursday, 2 February 2012

Chloe's 100 word challenge - Week#19

As I walked slowly towards my house, I realised the ground was beginning to wobble. At first I thought I was imagining it, so I carried on walking. Arriving home, I went in and saw that the floor of my house was cracked and most fo my things had fallen through the hole. I ran as fast as I've ever ran in my life the find my parents, but it seemed they had gone too.

That's when it came to me: this wasn't just a nightmare. The ground slowly parted...

By Chloe.
Ash Class, Year Five - Greenfields Primary School.

13 comments:

  1. Hi Chloe, I hope you were able to locate your parents.
    You used your imagination so well and gave a good description of what was taking place. I wish to know what happened next. I guess you wanted to type 'of' instead of 'fo' and 'to find my parents instead of 'the find...In any case, you did well. Keep entering for 100wc.

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    1. Thank you for commenting my 100 word challenge. I hope I will be able to do more of them.

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  2. Thanks Olusola! I'm afraid Chloe's typos were my fault (Mr Kenyon, her teacher!) - I shouldn't try to speed type!!!

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  3. Hi Chloe. I enjoyed reading your 100WC. You have used some great openers and some interesting punctuation. To make it even better, maybe next time you could add some emotions - how did you feel when you realised your parents had gone?

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  4. Hello Chloe (snap! Your class name matches mine!) You built up some effective suspense. The description of the ground wobbling was great. I think you have excellent imagination. Keep on writing. Next time try some more description of feelings, sights and sounds.

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  5. Hello Chloe!
    I really like this story especially as you left putting the prompt in until the very end! It is super to see you on the 100WC!

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  6. Hello chloe!
    Great 100 word challenge
    I really enjoyed reading it
    Well done
    Sasha

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  7. Isaac-AKA-SilverFox380210 February 2012 at 19:02

    Its kinda scary! :-0

    love the fact you made me want to read on!

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  8. glad you enjoyed the story
    thanks for commenting

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  9. hi mr k
    i am in blackpool and have been looking at the blog

    love chloe

    ps: great result for Man City, two points clear at top of the league now!

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    1. Hi Chloe - excellent, hopefully there'll be a dot on Blackpool on our globe!
      Mr K
      ps - boo, hiss at Man City!

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