The noise was terrifying but I managed to sprint out of the house with little strength in my body. My head was throbbing and my ears ached. Cold air flooded into my lungs and I felt the cool breeze blow on my red face. Safe. At last. Though not for long . A sharp screech pierced the air and shot into my ears. The sound made my skin crawl. A shadowy figure emerged from the darkness. “Oh no” I said aloud a gravelly cackle came from the figure in the doorway. I completely froze, my legs wouldn’t move. She came for me then. Right then.
By Mya
Wow! This week your 100WC is amazing! I lovr the way thst you described the way that the air entered your lungs, 'Cold air flooded into my lungs'. Love it! :-)
ReplyDeleteMya you used some great adjectives in your story, helping to build the dread and suspense - great job! I also like the short sentences you used a couple of times; a great way also to build suspense. Keep up the good work on the 100WC!
ReplyDeleteWow! This is a very adventurous story and that's what I love. You used a lot of emotion in this story.
ReplyDelete-Jessica
Surrey, BC, Canada
Hello Molly,
ReplyDeleteThis is really good writing! Your story is thrilling,scary and full of fabulous adjectives.
You have really created something special. Keep it up.
Apologies Mya I named my comment wrongly.
ReplyDeleteYour story is still wonderful :-)
Hi Mya my name is Brianna WOW i really
ReplyDeleteliked your story and what it is about
keep up the great work.
Hi Mya my name is Brianna Wow it thourght
ReplyDeleteyour story was great keep up the great work.